Communicating The Right Way
- Pick the right time: While there is no perfect time to raise a hard issue, pick the best time where there are no distractions or anyone lacking sleep.
- How you start is how you’ll finish: The way in which the speaker raises an issue is often a big predictor of how the discussion will go.
- Speak to yourself: Stick to talking about how you feel. Also, describe the issue at hand for you, rather than stating what you may assume, think, or observe what could be a possible problem with your partner.
- Be short and to the point: Try to tackle one issue at time. Keep your point specific to issues, observations or feelings and raise only those things that are happening. Don’t include negative comments that attack your spouse.
- It’s not safe to Assume: You might think that because a person knows you, they should know what you are thinking or feeling. Making assumptions is dangerous in any type of communication.
- Stop, Pause, Listen: After you have done your best to follow the speaker rules to get your message across, be sure to let the listener paraphrase or summarize what you have said.
- Move On: Once you are sure your message was understood, you can choose your next option. If you are talking about a conflict, use the rules to develop a solution based on common ground or things you can agree upon to improve the situation.
